Why can't you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
What is a physicist's favourite food?
A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies "No, I'm travelling light".
A higgs boson walks into a Catholic Church. The priest says "What are you doing here?" The boson says "You can't have mass without me."
What does the starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper?
They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.